It's time for a proposal of your own!
There are many ways to ask your Flower Girl to be part of your wedding party. While you're planning your proposal, make sure to always keep in mind that you’re dealing with children : The etiquette and methods involved in the request are perhaps different than when asking adults. If you’re not sure what is necessary or proper leading up to the big day, read the below tips to find out how to ask a child to be a flower girl for your ceremony.
1. Know Your Wedding Plans
First things first, make sure to know :
- Are the Flower Girl's parents part of the bridal party? Make sure you are clear with who you are asking and have a plan for ceremony and photos logistics so the adults don’t make assumptions or feel left out.
- Are you having a child-free wedding? According to wedding etiquette, even if you are having a no-kids reception, those in the wedding party should still be invited. If not, you will need to discuss childcare for after the ceremony with the Flower Girl's parents.
2. Ask the parents’ permission.
Before popping the question to the child, ask her parents to make sure they are okay with it. They’ll know whether or not their girl has previous obligations or if she might be too overwhelmed by the event. Some child can be very disturbed by a schedule deviation, like skipping a nap.
Give the parents as much notice as possible, the earlier you ask, the better, as the family will need to make travel plans or arrangements to be a part of the festivities.
Generally the parents are responsible for the child's attire for the big day, so you will need to discuss both budget and outfit ideas with them so everyone is clear on who is paying for and approving attire.
3. Ask at the right time
Wait to share the news with the flower girl until two or three months before the wedding, or whenever you have to order attire. Asking her to be your flower girl when the wedding is a year away will make it difficult for her to remain excited until the actual event. At 5 years old, waiting too long is torture!
Jealousy is the root of many wedding tantrums in children. Make sure to explain who else is involved. If you are having more than one flower girl, let them know that's the case. Kids can get jealous, especially if they thought they were the only special one.
4. Make the proposal feel special.
You want the flower girl to feel special, loved, and included in the wedding. Your proposal needs to do just that. A little gift box or card will make the wedding day more fun, plus it's a tangible reminder. For flower girls on petal patrol, you may want to offer the basket as a keepsake or give them a fun flower crown or flower-girl necklace to wear. There are children's books that explain the role of a flower girl, which acts both as a gift and as a way for the child to understand what they are being asked. You can find some cute books referrals here.
5. Make the Flower Girl feel included.
If the child is old enough, consider involving them in wedding party plans such as getting ready in the morning and wedding photos. This will help make them feel extra excited for the ceremony. If they're not old enough to spend time with the wedding party, consider having a special part of the day dedicated to them – even if it just takes a few minutes of your time.
Now you're all ready.
Good luck with your proposal!
Header Image by Lang Thomas Photography