How to Prepare your Flower Girl for your Big Day

Yes, Flower Girls add major cuteness to your wedding ceremony, but you’ve got to allow for the fact that they’re, well, children. Follow these advices, and you’ll increase your chances of having it go smoothly!

1. Make sure your Flower Girl Understands Her Role.

The first step you should take is to explain to her what this role means and what kind of responsibilities she will have. Most toddlers have never been to a wedding, so this entire experience might be completely brand new for her. Start talking about the wedding as far in advance as possible. Choose a time when the girl is happy and rested, and talk about why you would like her to participate. Tell her about the outfit she gets to wear, the actions she’ll need to take, and where she will stand. Listen to any fears or questions she has about the big day. Assure that everything is understood.  It might be useful to get some books about being Flower Girl and ask the parents to add them into their regular bedtime routine. Here are some recommendations for you!


2. Make Her Feel Part of the Party.

Let the Flower Girl spend some time getting to know the bridal party; after all, she is part of it! These adults will surround her on the big day, which can be quite intimidating if they’re all strangers. More familiarity reduces anxious feelings. Include the flower girl in some of the prep. The morning of, ask if mom or dad can bring the girl by the salon for 10 minutes to get their hair brushed, or a quick swipe of lip gloss, which will help make them feel like one of the gang. A few little things like this can make the difference between a nervous Flower Girl bursting into tears, and an excited child happily showing off her petal tossing skills as she follows her new “big” friends down the aisle.

Especially for really small children, it’s good to have someone at the entrance of the ceremony to point the child in the right direction, as well as someone they will recognize at the end of the aisle. This person can be a focal point for them when they arrive in front of a big room of people.

3. Practicing is Never a Bad Idea.

Flower girl practice is essential to see if everything goes according to plan. Make them practice how to walk down the aisle at home, with all the right rehearsal props. The more confidence your Flower Girl has, the more comfortable she'll be when it counts.

On or around the night before the wedding, your Flower Girl should participate in the rehearsal. She might be intimidated by the attention, but assure her it's going to be just as you practiced. Walk her down the aisle once or twice if she's uncomfortable. It's important that the flower girl role isn't a burden for her. She should have a lot of fun.

Take the time to pack a bag of bubbles, small quiet toys, and snacks in case of child meltdown. It’s inevitable that children’s moods will shift, and if that happens in the lead up to the wedding having something to distract and please them is a great way to save the moment. 


You can also have candy or their favorite stuffie on hand at the ceremony. Place bribery tools at the end of the aisle (as well as a parent) so if they’re going to choose to run, at least it will be in the right direction!

5. A Few Additional Tips 

  • Scope out a spot for a nap in the case of younger children: if they need to sleep for a good hour or two in the morning before an afternoon wedding, that will give them more fuel for the over-stimulating and fun time to come.
  • Let your Flower Girl walk in front of the maid of honor. If she gets stage fright, then the maid of honor can escort her.
  • Two flower girls walking together gives them more confidence. Another option is to have a page boy and flower girl walking down the aisle side-by-side.
  • If they are not doing pre-wedding photos, put your girls in their outfits as close to the ceremony time as possible. If they require a snack while they’re in their wedding attire, keep it as mess-free as possible.


Finally, don't put too much pressure on your Flower Girl. While the wedding is an important day, you should have realistic expectations about your Flower Girl’s performance. Remember, a small mistake isn’t that big of a deal at the end of the day. :)

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